Baby Steps
I know your type. You like to set big goals for yourself. You like to reach for the stars and you don’t let anything stand in your way. You can and do do it all. You wear a million different hats and are the point person on a million different projects (or people!). You work hard and play harder. I know your type because you are just like me.
If you can do all those things, then why is it so damn hard to reach our health goals? We know what we need to do - lose some weight, eat better, manage our stress, whatever. Why can’t we just do it?
I also know why you’re struggling with that one, too, because so am I. And so are the other people who contact me about my wellness coaching services.
We are more the same than we are different.
Let me put things differently…
If reaching your health goals was so easy, you would have done it already and you wouldn’t need my help. There. I said it.
Realizing that you need some support is a great first step. Isn’t that what they always say? The first step to solving a problem is admitting that there is a problem. It’s the same thing with health goals, only they’re not necessarily “problems”.
Admitting that we need some help is really tough. I think it comes from the pressure many of us feel to be Superwoman or Superman. Admitting you need help is considered a weakness by many. But seriously, that’s just silly, isn’t it?! Unfortunately, however, that’s the society we’re in. I’m not here today to challenge social norms and solve societal problems, I’ve got other things to do!
One of those very important things is to help empower you to live within those social norms in a healthy and happy way. And we can do that by first admitting we need someone else in our corner.
Me! I can be in your corner!
Ok, so now you’re thinking, “Ok, great, maybe I need some help.” GREAT!!! Here’s where things get fun!
Many of us have a laundry list of things we would like to change about ourselves or our lives. Where do we start?!
My advice, start with the easiest thing, “the low hanging fruit” if you will. Let’s get the ball rolling, give you some confidence, and then build on your successes. Can I let you in on a little secret? Every aspect of life is interconnected. Just like your body. Every organ is somehow connected to the others. Maybe not directly, but they do not operate independently of each other. Your life works the same way. You don’t live in a vacuum and all aspects of your life somehow affect others. We often make the mistake of compartmentalizing the different aspects of life.
For example, it would be great to set a goal of losing ten pounds, and then you just lost ten pounds without making any changes. That’s not how things work. You cannot continue to do the same things, eat the same foods, continue not managing your stress, keep getting horrible sleep, or ignore debilitating symptoms every month and expect your body to change. That would be quite the magic trick, wouldn’t it?!
To make changes, you need to do things differently. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. That same logic applies to making health changes. If you keep doing the things that got you to this point, how is anything going to change? It’s not.
Changing is tough. But that’s the only way to be successful. If change was easy, we would be a country full of happy, healthy, ultra-successful people.
Here’s the thing, you need to be ready to make changes and do the work. Yes, it’s work. A lot of work. You are going to go through rough patches, you might want to quit, you might quit, you might be uncomfortable, but at the end of the day, that’s how you grow. That’s how you reach your goals. There are very few people that achieve their dreams by pure luck, and there are very few people who reach their health goals by simply taking a pill, the next magical protein powder, or the next over-hyped supplement.
So let’s look at this in terms of “baby steps”....
The first step is realizing and accepting the fact that you want to make some changes in your life. The second step is accepting that you might not be able to do it alone. After all, if you could do this on your own, you probably would have done it already. The third step is to break your goal down into more realistic, manageable pieces. That’s where things can be really fun!
Let’s use the example from above of losing ten pounds, that’s the long-term goal or the “ultimate goal”. Most people start by figuring out when they want to lose the weight by, let’s say April 1st, and then do the math for how many pounds you would need to lose each week to achieve that goal. Using today’s date, 2/14/22 would mean you would need to lose just over a pound every week. Doable right? So you jump in - changing every meal, buying all new cookbooks, following every “health” expert on social media, jumping into a workout program five days a week, and investing in a few super-pills that promise to make the weight melt off.
I love the enthusiasm! But guess what? How long do you think before that gets old? How long before you get frustrated, tired, or overwhelmed? I would guess that you give up after about two weeks. I could be wrong. But that’s what I often see.
We are looking for the magic bullet or quick fix. But those rarely work for long-term results.
Now, let’s try this a different way. Before we look at losing any weight, I would recommend taking a good, hard, non-judgemental look at your life. Why are you in this position? Are you an emotional eater? Are you too busy to workout because you have too much on your plate? Do you eat out almost every night because you don’t know how to cook? Has weight always been a struggle and maybe it goes deeper? Is there something in your DNA that’s making this a challenge? Those are just some examples of questions I would ask.
After we figure out the root cause (and let me tell you, this often changes as we pull back more layers and dig a little deeper), then we can start making a plan just for you. Maybe we start by increasing your water intake by one glass every day. Or maybe we try a few cooking demonstrations to teach you some basic cooking skills. Or maybe you start taking a walk a few nights a week after dinner. After you feel comfortable with whatever action step you start with, then we add to it. Eventually, we start looking at the food you are eating and making some tweaks.
This is all before I ask you to step on the scale.
By the time we decide to check in with the scale, many people are already feeling a lot more positive about the entire situation. The momentum is rolling and they are knocking tasks and small goals off their plan like it’s nothing! By this time, many people find they have already lost some weight.
Why? Because we focused our efforts on the things that really matter. We took small, realistic steps in the right direction. We built on successes and reassessed areas that still needed some more work or a different approach.
“Diet Culture” has really done a number on us. Hollywood hasn’t helped the situation. And all these nutrition programs, fad diets, crazy drink powders, and questionable supplements have given us a false sense of reality. Our expectations are over-hyped and under satisfied. And when we fail, we’re often worse off than when we started because not only is our ego bruised, but we wasted time, money, and confidence.
No matter where you are on your health journey, it has taken a while to get there. Whether you are 100 pounds overweight or 10 pounds underweight, it didn’t happen overnight or after binge eating one batch of raw cookie dough.
By making a shift in our perspective and operating in real life, we stand a better chance to successfully reach our health goals. Your body is capable of amazing things! It just needs you to start listening and giving it the right tools.
Let’s do this! I would love to hear about your health goals! What are you working on in 2022? Nothing sales-y, I would just love to hear from you so I can cheer you on!
No matter your goal, I’m rooting for you!
Peace, love & kale!
Lindsay