Sometimes the uphill battle isn’t a battle at all…

I’m a nutritionist. I like to talk, read, speak, think, and dream about food and how it affects the human body. It’s a bit of an obsession of mine, but a good one, I know my boundaries! I realize that not everyone is like me. In fact, in my experience, most people don’t even want to think about food because it’s such a contentious topic. 

What foods are healthy? What’s not? What’s the latest superfood? Why do I have to cook separate meals for each family member? Why can’t we all eat the same thing? Will carbs make me fat? I could go on and on…and on. But you probably get the idea!

I’m on a mission to change that! I want food to be fun, exciting, and the BEST self-care practice in your daily life. We eat to live, but we also should live to eat! Eating is literally one of the things that keeps us alive. Without it, we would die.

One of the most common barriers my clients and people, in general, tell me is that they want to make changes to the foods they eat but their husband/wife/children/family would never be on board with it. Many women tell me their husbands are “stuck in their ways” so it’s useless to even try. They don’t have time to cook separate meals. Don’t want to fight about what to eat. And in general, feel like it’s not worth the effort.

While those are all completely valid points, it makes me even more determined to figure out ways to work healthy foods into those people’s lives! Did I ever mention that I’m stubborn? When someone tells me I can’t do something or something won’t work, it makes me work harder. So when I hear those or similar statements come from my clients, I go back to the drawing board and start brainstorming. 

And you know what? In almost all cases, after some trial and error, at some point, most people tell me, “My husband actually liked that recipe!” or “They didn’t even notice the beans/greens/veggies I snuck into their dinner!” You see, every situation is different. Every family is unique and requires a different strategy. 

I can’t give you the magic formula, but I do have many magical ways to break through these barriers (HINT - they’re not magic at all. Just really simple strategies.). I can also tell you what NEVER works - forcing people to change when they are not ready or willing to do so. That approach will cause fighting, hurt feelings, maybe a little name-calling, and even more resistance to the changes. Try if you dare, but I warned you!!

Why am I telling you all this? As I said, I’m on a mission to change our relationship with food. And it starts at home, with your own family. Let me tell you a little story that will help illustrate my point.

About 15 years ago, a woman in her 20s decided she wanted to take control of what she was eating. She ordered a few books from Amazon and started reading. About 2 pages into the first book, The Kind Diet by Alicia Silverstone, this woman decided she no longer was going to eat meat, dairy, or anything that came from an animal. She called her husband at work and told him the new *exciting* plan. Being a supportive husband, he went along with it. He continued to eat meat while she continued to avoid it like the plague. There were separate meals, there were new skills that needed to be learned, and there were unwanted stories of animal suffering at the dinner table. There was also a lot of wasted food.

Fast forward to today, this woman continues to avoid meat and animal products while her husband continues to eat meat. You see, this dietary change was important to her, not to him. But they figured it out and made it work. Where there’s a will there’s a way!

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, that’s the story of me and my husband, Craig. He thought I was legit crazy (his words not mine!). When we met, I was the biggest meat eater around, even more than him! I also had no desire or interest in being healthy! Boy, have times changed!

So, if you’re someone who is facing or suspecting an uphill battle at the dinner table, know that you are not alone. Also, know that your health is one of the most important things in life so it may be worth putting in the extra effort to get creative. But that’s where I can help!

I thought it would be fun for you to hear from someone else on this topic. Enter Craig! After all, he gets the question more than I do, “You still eat meat, how does that work?” He has some pretty good answers! In this situation we are specifically talking about giving up meat, this advice applies to almost any situation regarding changing food choices and making other lifestyle changes as well. I hope this gives you some hope for what’s possible and some insights that help you feel a little less alone. 

Stay tuned for an upcoming webinar where I will share some tips and tricks for getting others on board with healthy eating. That’s planned for late May. I’ll be bringing Craig back and you will have the opportunity to ask both of us your questions! It should be fun! Or at least entertaining….we’re a hoot!

Check out the interview with my husband, Craig:

Tell me a little bit about the food you eat.

I eat everything, unfortunately. I eat really unhealthy when I’m traveling for work and I eat really healthy at home. When I’m traveling, I usually eat fast food. When I’m home, the food is usually home-cooked and a lot more healthy. The biggest difference is that I don’t eat meat as much when I’m at home. It’s nearly impossible to not eat meat while on the road. There are hardly any healthy options at fast food places or, really, in most restaurants. I don’t have a lot of options.

What were your first thoughts when I said I wanted to stop eating meat and dairy, which you both ate several times a day?

I thought you were crazy because you were a brats-and-fish-fry person. You introduced me to those foods and brought those delicious things into my life. I didn’t think it would be possible. You showed me more meat things than I showed you. I brought you Hamburger Helper and you brought me actual meat. We used to make brats once a week, have fish fries on Fridays, and Hamburger or Tuna Helper at least once a week. 

How has your diet changed since I gave up meat and changed our food?

In the beginning, we made recipes just for you that were strictly vegan. For example, tacos. We would make two different taco fillings. I would eat the meat, you would eat the other stuff.  There was a lot of trial and error and trying to cook the “fancy” vegan foods and fake meat. Then we realized that it was just easier to make more familiar meals, like tacos or pasta dishes, but without the meat. We stopped making separate meals. If I wanted to add meat to something, I cook the meat separately. I don’t feel bad if I eat meat or make something extra. I don’t know if could eat the way I eat on the road if it wasn’t for how I eat at home because I would be eating so unhealthy all the time. It’s a good balance right now. Sometimes I have to drive another hour or so just to get to something that is somewhat healthy and I can’t always do that.

Have you noticed any changes to your own health since making these changes in your household?

I don’t get headaches nearly as much as I did. I used to get headaches every day. I’ve had migraines that have landed me in the ER a few times, fairly regularly. As a kid, I would have to have snacks kept in the nurse’s office because I would get such bad headaches at school and that was the only way to stop them. Very rarely do I get headaches now. I don’t remember the last time I had a migraine.

How does it work with me not eating meat, but you do? Doesn’t that make a lot more work for everyone?

No. It only creates as much work as we allow it to. At the beginning, it made more work. But then I had to decide if I wanted to keep doing all that work or if I wanted to eat healthier. I realized that your food tasted great too, so I could still have great tasting food but without the extra work. It makes no difference if I grill a steak or a cauliflower steak, that’s the same process. Technically, when making a stir-fry if you don’t make it with meat, it saves you a ton of time because you don’t have to cook the meat. That’s the case with a lot of meals.

Do you have any tips or tricks for someone who is not totally on board with the food changes their partner wants to make?

The biggest tip is that you cannot think that the healthy recipe or food is going to taste exactly the same as the unhealthy recipe or food. Fake meat is never going to taste like real meat. A grilled mushroom is never going to taste like a grilled steak. Tofu is never going to taste like chicken. That is what discouraged me the most at first. I would expect the tofu to taste like chicken and when it didn’t, I decided I didn’t like tofu instead of embracing tofu for what it was – a totally different food. Once you realize that it’s not the meat you taste, it’s the spices, you can flavor vegetables the same way and get a similar result. It’s not always about meat. You don’t have to always eat meat. You can just eat vegetables for a meal. It’s not always about eliminating either, it’s more about reducing and that can make a huge impact.

Opposite question now: Do you have any advice for someone who wants to make dietary changes, but their partner or other family members are not on board?

Don’t let that person stand in your way. If your health is important to you, it’s worth the extra effort. Only time will get your partner or family on board. There are still things to this day that Lindsay will eat that I won’t.

What is your favorite plant to eat?

Red peppers. I feel like I can find a way to get them into anything and I love that.

A big thank you to Craig for sharing his insights with us! Make sure you are signed up for the Full Bloom Acres Newsletter so you don’t miss the upcoming webinar with Craig and other exciting news! Click the button below to sign up.

Have a great week!

Peace, love & kale!

Lindsay