We’re more the same than we are different
Is it just me or does it seem like the goal of the world right now is to divide us? Everywhere we look, it seems we are being forced to self-identify and self-label so that we can identify and label other people.
What in the kale is this?!
It all boils down to one thing for me, we are all humans doing this thing called “life” together.
You can agree or disagree with me on specifics, but I don’t think there’s too much controversy in that statement. I’m not trying to ruffle any feathers here, and you know how much I like to ruffle feathers!!
I just strongly believe that if we put aside all of our differences and stop focusing on what makes us different, we will gain some much needed clarity.
And we might even be able to turn this ship around!
I think about this a lot with our rescued farm animals. They have unique emotions (some have very strong emotions!), personalities, friendships, and enemies. Besides not having thumbs and eating weeds (to be fair, I eat weeds too, so maybe that’s not a good comparison! 🤣), our pigs, donkeys, and the rest are not that much different than we are.
But let’s keep this about the humans today, shall we?
Last month, I attended a wellness retreat put on by a women’s group and a life coaching business in Southern Wisconsin. This was totally out of my comfort zone. To be honest, I had no idea what I was getting myself into or what to expect.
I just thought it would be fun to be around other real humans who care about their health, like I do.
I walked into this retreat half terrified and half excited. I was nervous because I didn’t know anyone and, as I said, I wasn’t really sure what it was going to be.
Would there be deep journaling? Confessing our deepest darkest secrets? Hypnosis? Dancing naked by a fire? I had no idea what to expect!
And, just in case you’re wondering, I’m totally in for all those things - the more out there, the better!….except maybe the naked dancing….😳
So, part of me was terrified. New people, new place. Eek. I’m a total introvert in real life, so, yes, “terrified” is not an over exaggeration.
The other part of me was excited.
I was excited to try something new and step outside my comfort zone. I am also actively trying to get more involved in the real life local alternative health community. It’s easy to be swept away in the digital space and forget that there are real humans out there to talk to!
Anyways….
The retreat was wonderful! I made some new friends, learned a lot about myself, and yes, confronted some deep dark shit that I’ve been pushing down for way too long. It was a great experience and met my expectations to be outside my comfort zone.
And, fortunately, there was no naked dancing!
Let me land this plane…I swear, I’m not off on a tangent….at least not yet…
My biggest takeaway from the retreat was to see firsthand how astonishingly similar a group of 25 women are, many who have never met and were coming from all different backgrounds.
We were more the same than we were different.
The amazing woman leading one of our activities prefaced the activity by challenging us to find a way to relate to every other person in that room in some way. We laughed, we cried, we shared.
And you know what? I saw myself in almost all of those women.
We all go through different experiences. Life looks different on everyone. Some of us have more bumps and bruises, and some are more shiny and new than others. There is no better or worse.
We went deep…
There were stories shared of abuse, neglect, regret, remorse, anger, troubled relationships, addiction, self-doubt, broken hearts, broken dreams, apprehension, impossible expectations, abandonment, sabotage, self-sabotage, and so much more.
It is simply amazing to me that you can find so many intense and extreme experiences in one room. As I said, there were only about 25 people. Imagine that on a larger scale!
But the truly spectacular thing I learned is that even though I cannot directly relate to some of those exact experiences in the same way, I can relate to all of the emotions that came out of those experiences.
The human experience is very complicated, messy, and confusing. But if we can peel back all the layers and really get down to the heart of the matter, the human experience is really quite simple.
We are all humans, trying to do our best in the game of life.
Every road we travel looks different. We might not face the same demons as the person sitting next to us, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that we are all trying to do our best.
To be just a little bit better than we were yesterday.
So how do we put this into practice? I think it comes down to one simple thing - removing expectations for ourselves and others and instead, approaching every interaction with an open heart and an open mind.
Love is at the heart of it all. We need more love in this world. Love for ourselves, those around us, and those we don’t even know and may never meet.
Releasing the expectation of others to satisfy our needs is empowering, not lonely. When we recognize that we are the only one who can truly satisfy those needs, something magical happens.
We begin to take accountability for our actions and our reactions.
And we open our hearts up to let in more love.
What if all this world needs is more love? Can we heal the world by loving ourselves, those around us, and those we don’t know?
Maybe. It might be worth a shot.
I would encourage you, next time you meet someone new, to approach the situation with an open heart and actively seek to find at least one way you two are similar. We all are more similar than we are different. Sometimes, we just have to dig a little deeper to find it.
But when we do, it’s like striking gold.