When others don’t agree with you
Not everyone has to get on the bandwagon.
There are two questions that I get asked almost immediately when someone finds out I eat a whole-food, plant-based diet (most people refer to the way I eat as vegan – but that word has been hijacked so I prefer the term whole-food, plant-based). First, they ask, “Aren’t you hungry all the time?” and second, “Is your husband vegan?”. Interestingly, the answer to both questions is no. I am not hungry all the time because I eat mostly plants and plants contain fiber. Meat, dairy, and most other animal products do not naturally contain any fiber. Fiber fills you up. Our ancestors consumed estimates of well over 100 grams of fiber every day. I consume about 60-80, depending on the day. Most Americans are lucky if they get 20 grams a day. Eek. Are you hungry all the time? Eat more plants.
Ok, back to the second question, which is the real point of this article because, well, I could go on and on about fiber!!! My husband, Craig, eats meat and dairy. This is where question number three comes in, “How does that work?”. It works simply because we make it work. Here’s the part that can apply to so many situations, it works because we respect each other’s views and actions. Forcing people to change or adapt your views is rarely successful in the long run.
I am a firm believer that you cannot force your views onto someone else and just “hope” they come over to your side. You are setting yourself up for failure and a life of misery and frustration. So that is how I try to live my (imperfect) life. Do I take opportunities to educate others about what is important to me? Of course. But there’s a time and place. Focus on yourself first, and others will follow, if and when they are ready.
Back to how we make it work. Let’s break it down into really simple steps… First, I figured out how to cook. Not just any meals, but really yummy meals that were not obviously vegan. Trying to replace steak with vegan “steak” just doesn’t please anyone, in my experience. Instead, I focused on meals that tasted so amazing and were so satisfying that Craig could not resist! Of course, not everyone was a homerun! There was certainly a learning curve, but that is where I began. Purchasing several really good cookbooks also helped tremendously! This strategy can be applied to any type of health change you want to make.
Second, we developed a strategy that worked for us (over time). To avoid cooking two meals, we found recipes and dishes that we could make to satisfy both of our tastes. No matter which of us cooks, (Craig is actually a much better cook than I am but don’t tell him I said that!) we make vegan meals. Then, if Craig wants to add meat, he cooks that separately. For example, if we make a stir fry for dinner, it will be full of veggies, brown rice, and maybe tofu. Instead of the tofu, Craig may make a steak to have in his. It works on so many levels. It takes minimal time and effort and leaves everyone happy.
Lastly, we also found that certain dishes or preparation methods are much easier to apply this to. Grilling is SUPER easy! I prepare what I what, Craig prepares what he wants, and then he grills it (don’t put me near a grill!). Marinating things is also easy. Using the same marinade (separate bowls of course!) we can make portabella mushrooms, tofu, or tempeh for me and chicken or steak for him. Tacos, same deal. Chili and other soups, ditto. Obviously, there are many instances where this doesn’t work. Don’t try to make tofu scramble and egg omelets at the same time. It’s a mess. Just trust me!
I guess my point is that not everyone in your household, or in your life for that matter, has to share your same stance on health. It’s helpful if they do, but it’s not really something to shame them for. The common denominator is to respect others. Respect their opinions, respect their views, respect where they are on their wellness journey. Once that happens, magical things start to emerge. You may find support in places you never knew or be introduced to someone with whom you have an immediate connection. Whether you are trying to add more healthy habits, like exercise or eating more vegetables, into your life or going full out vegan, everyone is at a different place in their life. Just because you are ready for change doesn’t mean that everyone else is as well.
If you have specific questions about how my hubby and I make this all work, let me know! I would love to hear from you!
Peace, love & kale!
Lindsay